The past couple weeks I've been having resistance about several things, most of them work related. I think all of us experience resistance whether it be our own or the resistance of others. I have a family that I'm seeing where there is strong resistance between themselves and their teenage child. "Stubborn" is the word they use to describe him, but in a negative tone.
So, what do you do when you meet with resistance, whether it be yours or someone else's? There are some, when met with resistance, that escalate and raise the stakes. "I'm taking your XBOX for a month unless you ______!" or they stoop to insults in an effort to get the person to concede to your way of thinking. If this does work for you, I'm sure your relationship with that person is quickly deteriorating.
When you try it with yourself, what happens? Does your relationship with yourself deteriorate? Do you respect yourself less because you are not doing something that you or someone else wants you to do?
During grad school part of our Ropes Course training was for the group to climb a wall together. Previous to this "element" we sat in a circle and talked about the walls in our lives. Each of us made a list of what those walls were/are and then talked about them. I remember that day in a lot of ways, but even more recently I'm remembering my walls. These walls are where my resistance comes in. Yes, I want to do this but...
This is the point where we choose. This is where we have to make a leap of faith or run and hide. The run and hide people tend to be less happy because they have no respect for themselves. The leap of faith is where our comfort zone currently ends and eventually, when we take that leap, the zone stretches and we are happier people. This is a tricky part as well though because sometimes the leap of faith we have to take is to do nothing, to say nothing and let the other person make their decisions, as much as we may disagree and the "run and hide" is to not trust and yell, insult, nag, correct, etc.
So think about what you are currently resisting...and then...why? What are you scared of? What does it say about YOU if you do it? What will happen if you take that step (or don't)? In what ways could you possibly grow if you took that leap? How would your relationships be improved?
Now, is the risk worth the possible outcome? I hope so. Now, stop resisting and grow.
Hmmmm . . .
Posted by: Trudgin' the Road | 01/22/2010 at 11:52 AM